Mental Health & Family: I hate the ways

Mental Health & Family: I hate the ways: "I hate the way I feel! I hate the way she makes me feel! I hate the I can't can't sleep at night! I hate the way I am awake most of the t..."

I hate the ways

I hate the way I feel!

I hate the way she makes me feel!

I hate the I can't can't sleep at night!

I hate the way I am awake most of the time!

I hate the way he took him away before his time!

I hate the way I can not tell him hi!

I hate the way I can't see his face!

I hate the way I can't hear his voice!

I hate the way I forgot his Birthday!

I hate the way I did not say Happy Birthday!

I hate the way I knew he was unhappy!

I hate the way I was a sorry ass sister!!!!

Not knowing what to do!!!

I am not even sure how to start this. A friend that it is like write in a journal which is still hard cause I have a learning disabilitie. When I find out that my brother was gone I gave up on the meds I did not see the point I will never be happy and I was taking lithium when you take med you have to go get blood work every 6 mouths to make sure you don't have to much toxic in you. My brother had really bad mindgrams and took some for it a couple of times and the toxic kill him so why would I talk something like that. When I first told my new doctor he up the dose but the next time went in I told the nurse how I felt so they took me off it!!! It felt like alot of weight was tookin off my sholders and now I want to take my meds I think it has been a week and a half seen I got back on my meds. I no that it not going take take the pain for the lost of my brother but maybe I will not think about cutting or killing myself all the time I hope!