I am not even sure how to start this. A friend that it is like write in a journal which is still hard cause I have a learning disabilitie. When I find out that my brother was gone I gave up on the meds I did not see the point I will never be happy and I was taking lithium when you take med you have to go get blood work every 6 mouths to make sure you don't have to much toxic in you. My brother had really bad mindgrams and took some for it a couple of times and the toxic kill him so why would I talk something like that. When I first told my new doctor he up the dose but the next time went in I told the nurse how I felt so they took me off it!!! It felt like alot of weight was tookin off my sholders and now I want to take my meds I think it has been a week and a half seen I got back on my meds. I no that it not going take take the pain for the lost of my brother but maybe I will not think about cutting or killing myself all the time I hope!
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